permanent ghost.

once i start.

i can't seem to stop.

my body aches from the lack of rest.

it's on purpose, i create this suffering inside

each waking moment, i die in small amounts.

walking right through

then evaporating.

on the edge and i'm gone.

i want you to leave.

(please stay for a while.)

i need you with me.

(please drop out from my life.)

i see it in the stars.

showing hidden embedded scars.

they signal me a warning

but i ignore it, i don't listen.

it's a habit too fucked to quit.

once i start.

i never stop.

[ M U S I C #5 ]

low places.

a light shoots down from the middle;
parts my darkness into view.
i look up at the sky.
trees shimmer like a bed of glass.
the grounds starts to tremble
and i begin to crumble as the stitches holding me together rip apart.
falling...
falling further...

what's the point.
i don't need any of this.
i'm good here, wallowing in brilliance [slash] self-pity.
where is the truth.
why do i pretend.
i'm content here, drowning within.
when will i give a damn.
how am i even living.
don't spare me.
i can feel it in the air and in my bones.

it's a torpedo to the soul.

it's a tidal wave on repeat.
resistance is futile.

it's time i let it all go;

i think it's time.

nothing, and only nothing.

i used to...
these hands, these hands once held you when the tears fell.
these fingers once traced random patterns on your chest.
these lips, these lips once kissed you until you bled.
these two hearts once felt universally connected.
these memories; we were one.
now? not so much.